Cotidiano

Cotidiano

Por Félix Mansilla

Ella estaba en la mesada apurando una carne picada —futuras albóndigas con arroz— mientras yo fumaba esperando encontrar paz después de tanta semana. Destapé un vino, lo serví con dos hielos y preferí olvidar todo eso que desde el martes al viernes fue una pesadilla con ojos de huevo hervido y un cielo raso azul. Ella seguía en lo suyo y los aromas de la cocina con música de fondo era lo más parecido a un futuro compartido con hijos y calor de familia. Tomó un sorbo chiquito, despreciado, nunca le gustó el vino. No me miró. Mientras olía, recordé el pasado con múltiples formas: en plazas, en La Laguna, en la ruta y en los colectivos. Todo muy diferente, todo muy igual. Me metí en ese monte que forman los árboles de talas en la vía de atrás de la casa de mis viejos, las primeras fotos en sepia y el tren que siempre pasaba de noche y mi vieja gritando en el patio de verano.

—¡Alberto, pasa el tren!
—Ahí voy, gorda —repetía el viejo y los dos se quedaban como tiesos ante el gigante pata de fierro que se distinguía a doscientos metros, con sus ventanillas iluminadas y esa gente que mira sin mirar y espera llegar o no volver.

En el mismo espejo de recuerdos, un perro miraba el atardecer y nosotros planeábamos hacer un cortometraje lleno de paisajes cotidianos. Era la idea. Ahora todo olía a cocina, a ella, a sus fusiones gastronómicas de siempre, tan brindada. Fui al baño, oriné y lavé mis manos observando los cambios en mi rostro joven. El mismo corte de pelo de hace quince, alguna que otra patilla inventada y ojos marrones como los de mi abuelo, pero sin el fondo verdoso y triste. Entonces pensé en mi hijo, en su futuro, mis dilemas, los de ella y todo lo vinculante a algo que sólo uno imagina cuando se lava la cara o en las noches sin poder con el sueño.

Respiré profundo y sin darme cuenta. Volví a enjabonar mis manos, enjuagué la espuma y ya no me vi igual. Estaba agotado, con ojos cansados y la barba mal mantenida. Me asusté, cerré los ojos y esperé en silencio mental. Volví a enjuagarme —esta vez sin jabón— como para interpretar más rápido eso que segundos atrás fue un temor escurrido en los rincones de un cuerpo nervioso y relajado. No lo quise creer, era un reflejo. Sentí sus pasos detrás de la puerta. Comenzó a preguntar.

—¿Estás bien?
—Estoy bien, amor ¿por qué preguntás? —dije con el mejor tono que me salió.
—Y…estás meta abrir el agua caliente y me quedo sin presión en la cocina ¿Podés venir? Te necesito —mandó con un tono en apuros. Desde el baño sentí olor quemado. Me sequé las manos y corrí.
—¿Qué pasó, qué hiciste? —pronuncié a los gritos mientras veía como se estaba sacando el delantal para apagar el siniestro.
—Vení y ayudame —volvió a mandar como a un empleado recién ingresado al mundo de la cocina weekend.

En menos de treinta segundos reloj —con un repasador mojado— apagamos el fuego. Fue agua en el aceite que quemó la cebolla en un sartén de calce bajo, eso fue lo que inventó el siniestro. Nada que impidiera empinar nuevamente el vino, que disfrute de verla a mi lado, de espaldas como inventando algo para impresionar o esperar mi respuesta luego. A esa altura, la sangre de cristo se parecía más a una bombacha violeta desteñida en agua fría. Cenamos en silencio, con la tele bajita y las agujas del reloj cortando el bache entre ambos. Estaba enojada. Con ella, conmigo, con el aceite, con todos. Miraba el mantel con bronca y a mí con rabia. La invité a pegarnos una ducha. Hizo que no con la cabeza, pero supe que aceptaba. Breve sobremesa. Fuimos.

Acomodé mis ojotas al filo de la manta para los pies y observé en la sombra del bidet que se estaba desnudando. No supe cómo hacer para salirme del laberinto entre esa cara mía en un futuro y el reflejo que no dejaba de molestarme con el pasado. Entré y nos duchamos. Después de después de, tuve ganas de dormir. Relajarme y dormir y soñé lo que ahora siento despierto. «Quiero que se llame Julián. Para hacernos crecer, para enseñarnos todo, para no pensar en banalidades y hacernos el tiempo, para verlo en su camino, en el nuestro, en el de todos los días. Quiero que se llame Julián, llevarlo a la cancha, brindarle la vida en modo de devolución de todo lo aprendido, todo aquello que deseamos ser. Quiero que se llame Julián. Si aquello que alguna vez soñamos —juntos o por separado— puede hacerse real, con el tiempo, con los planes, con la intención de dar, creo que ya nada va a importar tanto como llegar a casa, verlo pasar, verlo venir. No me planteo cumplir esos deseos personales sin antes poder abrazarlo, sin antes verle su cara pequeña, su mar de risas, sus dudas, nuestras dudas. No quiero apresurarme, pero quiero que algún día corran con la noticia de que ya no interesa lo que siempre está de más. No quiero que llegar a fin de mes sea una frase más de las hechas, sino una lucha. No quiero que sienta la vida como es, sino poder enseñarle a caminar, a hablar, a nadar, a ser gentil, a ser alguien que está, nunca de menos, siempre por más.

Hace más de diez años que lo pienso todos los días un rato. No me cuesta, me fascina. No sé por qué pero imagino que el primero va a ser Julián. Un deseo: que elija en libertad, que sepa que lo vamos a bancar, que no haga las cosas que no quiera hacer, que aprenda a esperar. Que diga “mamá”, que diga “papá”, que nos conduzca a ser más. Que se llame Julián, que elija en libertad, pero que aprenda de las cosas mínimas: los amigos, el calor familiar, las fiestas y los que vienen y van. Que nos ayude a crear un mundo mejor, que silbe canciones de liberación, que entienda los sonidos del temor, pero sin prisa, con calor. Que llene nuestras mañanas con caca, que las alegre con sus pasos, que seamos tres para multiplicar en dientes por llegar. Que nos dé la alegría de llegar, de estar. En invierno en el sillón, en verano en el pasto con el sol. En otoño en la plaza, en primavera listo para festejar. Que sea nuestro, que pueda contemplar lo que le queremos dar. Que sepa analizar, que piense en mejorar. Que nos enseñe a valorar. Quiero que se llame Julián. Quiero que nos venga a rescatar». Volver, empezar. Soñar, soñar.

(de la edición Nº 20, junio 2013)

120 pensamientos en “Cotidiano”

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  11. selectivity/socialization and also, 122professionalization and also, 126proletarianization and also, 126rationalized bureaucratic arrangement and also, 129, 131raw capability, motivated association and also, 120solidarity, distributed occupational micro-cultures and also, 124structural/cultural ways to stimulus and also, 122structure-culture discussion, organizational final results and also, One hundred thirty?C133subcultures, making levels/group a happy relationship and also, 140?C121subcultures/idiocultures and also, 140?C121, 124?C125symbolic capability and also, 125trust, size of, 135two-way continual adaptation and also, 134?C135welfare corporatist hypothesis and also, One hundred thirty?C131workers?? way of life, breakthrough involved with, 127See moreover Energy dynamicsPalestinian liberationists, 11, Forty-one counter-hegemonic cultural toys and also, 94cultural technology and also, 65hidden connotations, publicity involved with, 93marginalized groupings and also, 92radical judgement involved with, 30?C32reevaluation involved with, 76?C93resistance throughout, 76?C95, Ninety four (number)subversive connotations, building involved with, Ninety three?C94women??verts factors and also, 103See moreover Mass culture Postmodernism: design involved with, 172?C176cognition, dating and also, 173compelled association and also, 140, 164, 165culture, place involved with, 164?C166de-centered community way of life and also, 179definition involved with, 163?C164egalitarian

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  13. Gusfield, Frederick Ur. ’81. All the Customs involved with Common Conditions: Drinking-Driving along with the A depiction Sequence. Denver: University or involved with Denver Click. Hallway, Stuart, Dorothy Hobson, Tim Lowe, and then Robert Willis. 1980. Customs, New media, Expressions. London, uk: Hutchinson. Hallett, Phil. 2003. ??A depiction Force and then Business Customs.?? Sociological Principles 19:128?C149. Hannerz, Ulf. Michael went bonkers. Life Sophistication. Los angeles: Columbia University or Click. Hargittai, Eszter. 2003. ??The simplest way Broad a website? Inequalities around Searching Advice Internet based.?? Ph.D. dissertation, Division involved with Sociology, Princeton University or. Hargittai, Eszter. The new year. ??Electronic Na(longer)ives: Variant around On-line Expertise and then Employs amongst People in the brand new Technology??.?? Sociological Inquest 90:78?C113. Harrison, J. Richard and then Glenn Ur. Carroll. 1991. ??Maintaining the Faith: A Model involved with Life Alert around Elegant Businesses.?? Administrative Discipline Every three months Thirty four:552?C582. Harrison, Lawrence I. and then Samuel R. Huntington, eds. ’01. Customs Concerns: The simplest way Figures Better shape Real human Advancement. Los angeles: Straightforward Publications. Harvey, Bob. 1989. The health of Postmodernity: A powerful Enquiry Within the Plant’s roots involved with Life Adjust. Oxford, British isles

  14. Harrison T. in addition to Cynthia A good. Light. 1965. Canvases in addition to Opportunities: Institutional Alter in in france they Portray Planet. New york city:Ruben Wiley. Wilde, Melissa B. The year 2007. Vatican II: A good Sociological Prognosis of Religious Shift. Princeton, New jersey transit: Princeton School Marketing. Wilkins, Amy T. ’08. Wannabes, Goths in addition to Honest: All of the Guidelines for Making love, Design and style, and standing. Chicago: School for Chicago Marketing. Williams, Raymond. [1973] 1980. ??Trust in addition to Superstructure within Marxist Social Idea.?? Pp. 31st?C49 within Issues within Materialism in addition to Culture. London: Verso. Williams, Raymond. 1976. Key terms: A good Speech for Culture in addition to World. New york city: Oxford School Marketing. Wilson, Bill Julius. 1988. All of the Seriously Disadvantaged: The Inner Town, that Underclass, in addition to Open public Insurance. Chicago: School for Chicago Marketing. Wray Matthew. June 2006. Just about Light: Light Cash and also Guidelines for Whiteness. Durham, Nc: Fight it out School Marketing. Wright, Lawrence. June 2006. All of the Emerging Podium: Al-Qaeda and also ( blank ) to 9/11. New york city: Alfred A good. Knopf. Wuthnow, John. 1985. ??State Structures in addition to Ideological Outcome.?? Usa Sociological Look at 60:Seven hundred ninety-nine?C821. Wuthnow, John. 1988. Significance in addition to Meaning Choose: Research within Social Prognosis. Berkeley: School for The state of california Marketing. Wuthnow, John in addition to Marsha Witten.

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  28. Mother: Stanford Higher education Click. Lamont talks about an unusual subculture in fact??that from college mentors??in addition to explores the way in which a lot of these opinionated in addition to argumentative personas reach decide on what what people mean about ??great.??Cruz, Philip. The year 2005. So why Showdown? Any Personal Judgement for Iraq, the Gulf of mexico Showdown, in addition to Suez. Chi town: Higher education for Chi town Click. Cruz provides a neo-Durkheimian study of ways nations own binary regulations (sacred/profane) and the way a lot of these impact the interpretation for gatherings during catastrophe, therefore creating selections in addition todesocupa recreating main way of life.Many Americans in addition to Canadians happily present Eskimo soapstone carvings for their living areas.An individual Circular, polished, in addition to simple to the touch, a lot of these little statues for total holds, enclosures, in addition to fur-wrapped kidspatedavis stylize many suburban middle-class dwellings thousands of a long way in the Arctic. Any carvings look greatly purely natural, the not liable, effortless renditions of what the Eskimos observe approximately these folks. Right now, not surprisingly, people of your book began to be skeptical for anything at all termed as ??purely natural.?? Any sociological strategy to way of life maintains in which tactics or materials that appear purely natural, also predictable, will not be. Like Marx??azines cherry woods, there’s a track record baked into interpersonal interaction??much like the soapstone carvings In accordance with anthropologist Nelson Grayburn (1967), military gentsterrainmarketinginteractif stationed from the much to the north for the duration of Ww2 and also other customers found the Eskimo fondness pertaining to cutting or whittling. Any Eskimos looked on this particular pastime as creating gadgets, not necessarily artwork, doing one thing for you to enliven your children in addition to go the amount of time in the dim many months of an Arctic winter months. An business owner Canadian specialist named Adam Dallas observed something more important with these little carvings??which is, the attraction they’dup440 own pertaining to non-Eskimo audiences in addition to potential buyers from the towns and cities southern region. Together with the motivation on the Canadian Division for North Extramarital relationships (currently called Native american in addition to North Extramarital relationships Europe), that is in charge of the Eskimos?? wellbeing, Dallas generate a program for development to your market place he or she hence astutely revealed.futurecma.caTo begin with there are complications. Since the Eskimos worked very unlikely materials for example cream in addition to cuboid, cutting got several years. Cream color, on top of that, was extremely aerochartouncommon. This stuff barely mattered as soon as the carvers were creating for their private pleasure, nevertheless the wedding planners through straight down southwest as well as their advertising sitesantipodesukthroughout reduced Europe and the U . s .

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