Entre sueños

Por Félix Mansilla

Y fue uno de esos sueños en los que desee despertar pero no para seguir soñando sino para cambiar. El final, los personajes, el paisaje, las tramas y el despertar. Entrar y cambiar. Poder ser el dueño del destino de cada paso, de cada secuencia en la que el peligro o la gracia se enfrentan y desarrollan para ser el molde de los pensamientos.

En ese sueño de tarde sin sueño perdía un tren y el miedo de que pase alguna vez. De que pase y sentir el temor de cuando se pierde la esperanza, se lo pierde todo, al menos por un rato. O toda una vida. Por eso me preocupaba. Por eso pensé. Por eso me agitaba. Por eso me adelanté.

La impotencia no era perder tras correr durante transpirados segundos aquella máquina atravesadora, ni tampoco no poder haber salido del sueño para no perderlo. La bronca al despertar fue la que en el sueño no me dictaba lo que despierto me delataba. Haber entrado a esas imágenes para no decidirme cambiar el final.

Creo que la mayoría de nosotros queremos cambiar esos finales o al menos que fluyan desde el deseo con los ojos abiertos. Pero no. O si. Me culpaba querer cambiar ese final que ya había sido un final. Me reprochaba querer cambiar lo que sucedió. Despertar no es el mejor remedio cuando todo pasa. Lo triste es intentar volver para revertir lo marcado.

En los sueños. En los días. En la vida. Mi intención fue decirme entresueños que no intente despertar para alcanzar el tren. Avisarme que lo deje escapar. Lo mejor es esperar otro final. Dejar pasar. A veces nada podemos hacer para cambiar. Pero a veces lo intentamos. A veces fallamos. Y a veces lo cambiamos.

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89 pensamientos en “Entre sueños”

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